The mask that fear creates

Some time ago I had a breakthrough conversation with a couple of dear friends. Our meeting was supposed to be about re-branding a business. Sometimes conversations go their own way and we just need to follow. My inspiration afterward is this…

Our many masks

Fear creates a mask that blocks who we really are. We wear masks for different people, different situations and different reasons. I think we unknowingly wear these masks because we’ve done it for as long as we can remember.  But, why do we do this? How did we learn we have to change our voice, our opinion or our actions? Why change these things about ourselves to appease other people? Is it a big deal that subtle changes over the course your life got you where you are today? I bet you didn’t even know you were doing it.

It is a big deal

Wearing a mask or a facade is exhausting. For so long, I worried about every word that came out of my mouth to every action, job, my circle of friends or to my children and all of their choices. I thought all those things made my image to others better. Better to people who really didn’t know me? How could they if I didn’t really know myself? The mask I wore the most was that of self-doubt.

I thought so little of myself and my insecurities came out as rebellion. I portrayed myself as the tough girl with a big mouth and lots of sadness and anger.

I have worn that mask all my life. I learned as a little girl that I needed to be “good for show” but inside I was in pain. I wanted to be free but didn’t even know what that feeling meant.

Show up for yourself

After the realization of the many masks I wear, I figured out it was up to me to put them away. It is still a work in progress but I feel bits of freedom in this realization. Slowly and only when I really focus do I see who I was meant to be.

Every day I make an intentional effort to take away the facade.  I have to strip away all the layers of masks until I expose real naked vulnerability. If I take away all my facades then all I have is myself and all that I am.

Baptized in my truth and the freedom it gives me. Wow. I can only imagine. I am going to show up for myself today. Won’t you show up for yourself? You deserve it, so go for it!

Peace and love
LM

Power

As women, we hold a lot of power. Since the day we are born we are given power and over the course of our lives we slowly give our power away. For me, it started with not feeling worthy enough for my parents love. This turned into an overwhelming sense of not feeling worthy of love from anyone that I had relationships with. This applied to men, friends, and people that I held to a higher standard.

How could this have been different for me? How much of this comes from my DNA? How much of this is a learned behavior? I couldn’t help but wonder if my sense of self was really not true at all?

When we are born, we are all given the gift of breath. Instinctively our brain tells us to breathe and we continue to do this until we can no longer breathe on our own. It is everything in-between that shapes who we are, who we become and who we are not.

In raising two daughters of my own, with two very different personalities, I really start to wonder what can be different for them? How can I, as their mom encourage the notion that the world is really full of hope and opportunity? That what lies outside of their comfort zone is there to help them grow, not make them small? What can I teach my daughters by example and not just by my words?

The example that was shown to me as a child was not lost on me. I don’t think my parents intentionally made me feel ignored or not valued. I hope that if they knew that is how I felt growing up they would have done things differently. As a mother, I know that I feel that way about my children. I know now that I unintentionally break their spirit and teach them things that I wish that I hadn’t.

The difference is that I am aware of these things. I don’t think my parents were equipped to know much less understand what they were doing or not doing.

So, what do I do with this power of knowledge? How can I change the course for myself and my children, especially for my daughters?

How do we keep on keeping on when there are outside forces that tell us that we aren’t enough because of our gender? We aren’t enough for a job because we don’t have letters behind our name? That we aren’t enough because…..

What I have come to understand is that I have always had the power. I have chosen to give that power away because I didn’t know any other way. I gave the power away because I don’t know that I didn’t have to. I didn’t even realize that I was doing it.

Wow! Imagine a world full of women who use their power to BE? Be what? Whatever we want. Imagine a world where our daughters take it to the next level. Wow, just wow!

Be Powerful today. change the course of the rest of your life by using what was given to you!
-LM